Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
