it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
