Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
