Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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