Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
