Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
