Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
