U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
