Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
