That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
