My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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