so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
