Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize