walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it glows. i had to have it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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