Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
