this beer tastes like vomit already
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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