i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
