I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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