I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
