if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
