i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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