that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
