im drinking this country out of the recession.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
