this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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