my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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