I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
