We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Panties = found
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
