Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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