Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
