I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have tasted many bathrooms
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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