You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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