i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
