Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
