Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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