going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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