I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
