Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
