I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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