the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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