im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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