No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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