theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's official drugs can't kill me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
