Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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