buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
