Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
whose ass print is on the piano?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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