well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
