As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
