You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
