If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
