i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
dude. I can hear the air.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
