I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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