Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize