How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
