how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize