Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
