You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
