I can't breathe out the right side of my face
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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