4 words: hood of his car
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
