you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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