He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
