he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
