He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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