She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
two words: eviction party
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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