Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
