On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
