Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We got so high we made milksteak
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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